Week 7

June 11, 2019

I had my daughter, Jennifer, and her husband, Jason, come for dinner last night. We joked about Jennifer baking a cake to bring, and the distance they had to come to arrive on time for supper. Only 14 ft. of hallway separate us from the main house where Jen & Jason live. I prepared a garden salad, garlic bread, barbequed chicken, string beans almondine and rice pilaf. I made a blueberry pie for dessert and Jen’s cake was chocolate with white frosting. We all had a good time and it occurred to me that this was a great way to bring everyone together from time to time. This is definitely one of the pros, and so far this week the cons seem to be dwindling. I am waking up feeling so much better than I did in the first month we moved into the in-law apartment. I am going to make this short because I am off to the gym this morning. The doctor informed me that my bone density test showed osteopenia and suggested weight bearing exercises. I have been lifting weights for years, although with the move and being busy with setting up the apartment, I have been very negligent when it comes to the gym, but not today.

One more thing. Jason just told Jennifer to come and get me to see the huge snapping turtle in the backyard. Now that was a treat. Living in the country does have an upside. The woods are full of deer and almost everyday I catch sightings of these beautiful creatures. The news has advised us to keep our bird feeders empty because the bear sightings have increased in R.I this year. So far this year bears have been seen in West Warwick, Cranston, Johnston and other well-populated areas. I do not want a bear coming that close to my back door as that is where the bird feeder is situated. One can only imagine how frightening it would be to encounter one of those furry creatures, although it might be fun to spot one from a distance! Okay, it’s off to the gym.

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Still Week 6

June 1, 2019

In my last blog I mentioned a few pros and cons, and stated that I would elaborate more on both in future blogs. Truth be told, the list is not finished, and each day presents itself with new challenges. One drawback for sure is the lack of space. I am still trying to figure out which of the two geniuses next door decided a bathroom is finished without a linen closet, medicine cabinet or tub. Okay, I can live without the tub, but the towels have already invaded two drawers in my bureau and the medications have taken refuge in two of my kitchen cupboards The pro is that we contacted a house remodeling company to repair these offenses.

I keep telling myself that I will adjust, but then my husband comes home tonight with a roaring cold. Normally for the first few days until the cold is less contagious, I could escape to a guest bedroom. Big con, there are NO guest bedrooms here. I am wondering if Jen & Jay would mind a house guest just for tonight??? Nah, bad idea.

Week 6

May 31, 2019

Change can be very disconcerting to many people, I personally have a problem with it for as far back as I can remember. The pros surely outweigh the cons living in a mother-in-law apartment, but one of the most significant is the money we are savings without the overhead of our own home. Let me stop here and mention one of the cons, which is not owning your own home. I am wondering if it is pride speaking, or the fact that for 42 years I did not have to ask permission to make any changes to my home. Jennifer, my daughter, and her husband, Jason, are wonderful when it comes to what we want to do in the in-law apt., so I guess it is the small matter of having to ask if they would mind. Another plus for living in 700 sq. ft. of space is the ease of cleaning. Now that may seem like a small matter to most, but I have always hated house cleaning, but here I am finished in no time!!! There are many more pros, and a few more cons which I will cover in my next blog. Just one more pro for now, and again this may seem of no importance to some, but I have a hummingbird no more than 4 feet away from my kitchen window which has provided me the opportunity to view these adorable little birds with close proximity. I never get tired of watching them as they draw nectar from the feeder with their wings going a mile a minute. Maybe I should join a bird watching group, but right now I have a few more boxes to unpack. Yes, it has been over a month and I am still unpacking. After all, it did take us 42 years to accumulate all this stuff!!!

WEEK 4

May 19, 2019

My former neighbor, Irene, now 84 yrs. old and the first person to welcome me to the neighborhood 42 years ago. I had an occasion to see my old neighborhood yesterday as Irene’s house was next to mine. I hardly expected the range of emotions I felt when I turned down the road I lived on and drove past my old home. What happened to that great feeling I thought I would experience after we sold our home and were debt free for the first time in our lives? Perhaps my expectations were too high. After all, who grieves for a home? Do we even belong in an in-law apartment right now?

Adjusting to a new home and location is not easy, and I hope I become more comfortable here as time goes on. I am living in the middle of nowhere, with a diner two miles from my back door named “The Middle of No Where Diner”. I even entertained the idea of getting a puppy, so I know I must be losing my mind. I feel lost and lonely, and my daughter is only a door away. John took a new job ,which all but killed my chances of travelling anywhere this year. So this is the golden years??? I guess I was deluding myself when I thought that John would change. He always told me he did not like to travel, but I was convinced that once we had the time and extra money this would all change. Now we have the extra money, but John cannot take the time. The question on my mind is whether I should go without him. There must be many wives, and probably husbands, that are asking the same question. What would you do?

Week 4

May 14, 2019

I regret that I did not have the opportunity to start this blog on April 16th of this year, the day John and I first moved from our home of 42 years to the mother-in-law apartment. I had all the boxes I packed from our former home labeled with the contents and the room I took them from. John, on the other hand, had all the contents of the shed, garage and cellar, piled in a big heap in back of his pick-up. He had not used most of the things he brought in the past ten years. I suggested to John that we play a game called, “If You Haven’t Used it in Two Years”. The only rule to this game was to repond truthfully when asked if you have used this object in the last two years, and if you have not, it goes bye bye. John did not want to play this game. It took me 43 years of marriage to learn that I married a hoarder. All the boxes, along with John’s treasures, have overwhelmed me, but I took this advice of my brother, John, who had downsized several years ago, and that was to take one or two boxes a day to empty. My brother has to be one of the best organizers I know, parralled only by Jennifer, so I have taken his advice. I know Jennifer would be happy to help if she had not scheduled her foot surgery a week before we moved. Mmmmmm, pretty good planning on her part. I am still at a loss as to what to do with the junkyard John has created in a large part of the basement, but if he will not play the game, it’s just going to have to be played without him. Although it would be just my luck to give something away and have him look for it immediately after it is gone.

I am going to close now, but again I would like to say that any and all feedback you can provide as to your experience with moving to an in-law apt. would be appreciated.